How Facing Networking Fears Fueled My Business Growth
Last summer, the thought of networking made me want to hide. Yet over the past six months, it has transformed my career and my life. It has reframed how I see my professional value and ultimately it has led me to launch my own consulting business.
My transformation didn’t happen overnight, but with time and practice, I went from dreading networking to embracing it.
Now, I never leave an event without a new contact or follow-up. I confidently introduce myself, set up coffee meetings, and make genuine connections.
And the best part? I’ve built a supportive community that lifts each other up.
With so many people putting themselves out there for the first time in years, or ever, Dana Inerfeld encouraged me to share my journey this week in hopes of inspiring others. It’s possible, and we can all get there!
I Used to Hate Networking
If you had asked me a year ago, I would have told you I hated networking. It didn’t have any redeeming qualities for me.
I thought networking meant walking into a large group of people, making small talk with executives I couldn’t connect with, didn’t care about, and who probably didn’t care about me, all with the end goal of leaving the event with something. A business card? Proof I had done something right.
It was intimidating, daunting, and seemed boring and not all that useful for my career in marketing.
It just “wasn’t for me”.
So I avoided it. I ran the events instead, checking people in, making sure they had drinks, even staying late to clean up. Anything to avoid actually making meaningful conversation.
But then, I decided to change my professional path...
The Networking Challenge That Changed Everything
Eight month ago, I moved on from 25 years of in-house marketing to find my way back into the nonprofit world I so loved from earlier in my career. With the help of a career coach Jachin Merrill, MCC, I polished my resume, updated my LinkedIn, and crafted my elevator pitch to get ready to begin my job search.
Then came the dreaded next step of networking.
I started with the easy stuff. Reaching out to former colleagues and supervisors. The conversations were enjoyable, and people were incredibly generous with their time and advice. But after two months, I was still struggling to break back into the market.
That’s when my career coach pushed me to get uncomfortable.
I started adding soft asks:
“Do you know anyone you can introduce me to?”
"What groups should I check out for good contacts?”
My spreadsheet of contacts grew. I had 50+ names, but I still felt like I was looking at my future through cheesecloth, some solid lines with a lot of holes.
Turns out, I wasn’t uncomfortable enough.
The Hardest Leap: Completely Rethinking My Future Career
At the same time I was struggling to gain traction in my job search, I kept hearing the same refrain from my colleagues, contacts, and coach:
“Why limit yourself to one company? With all you have to offer, why not think bigger?”
Instead of focusing on what I could provide for one company, why not think about how I could expand my impact? The idea of opening my own consulting practice emerged.
Reframing my goals happened through networking. But now I had a bigger problem.
To launch my own business, I knew I’d have to network like never before. And that fear almost kept me from taking the leap.
So, how did I do it? I got even more uncomfortable.
I reached out to people I knew who had started their own businesses. My brain kept telling me, “They won’t have time for me.” But I told my brain to keep quiet and asked anyway.
Every. Single. Person. Responded.
I was astonished by their generosity, they all made time for me, over coffee, lunch, or Zoom. They shared insights, fears, and strategies. They told me how they found clients and what mistakes to avoid. These conversations weren’t boring at all, they were enlightening. I walked away smarter and more confident.
Then, it was time to tackle my biggest fear of all: a networking event.
How I Survived (and Thrived) at My First Networking Event
Attending a networking event felt overwhelming, so I made a plan:
Meet just one person. That’s it.
Bring a friend (accountability helps!).
That day, I brought Claire Nakashima Nelson (thanks!) and I met one person. It was scary, and I was anxious, but I did it. They were just starting out at a small nonprofit and were interested in kicking around some marketing ideas
So at my next event, I upped my goal to three people. Again, I brought a friend. Again, I met my goal.
Did I walk away with my first clients? No. But I walked away with a wider network and confidence.
And from there, it snowballed.
Now, I never go to a networking event without a short list of people I want to meet. I never leave without a follow-up. I set up coffee chats, happy hours, and lunches. For three months, I said yes to every invitation to connect.
And guess what?
Every single client I have today has come through networking.
My Mindset Shift
I’ve brought in clients through networking and that’s awesome, it’s rewarding to see my business begin to grow. But, surprisingly, it’s not actually the best part.
What has changed my dread for networking to actual excitement is that I have met some of the most amazing, interesting, and fabulous people of my life in these past six months.
I’ve built a network that not only helps me professionally but has also created a community of business owners and marketers lifting each other up. I have even made new friends.
We support each other, we do good work, and we grow together.
Because here’s what I had to remind myself:
People are just people.
They have wins and struggles. They have families, pets, and busy lives. When I stopped focusing on transactions and started focusing on relationships, networking actually became fun.
Now, I look forward to the next event, coffee, or Zoom and not just for potential business, but to connect, support, and learn from others.
Because when business comes through genuine relationships, it’s almost always the best fit.
And that’s the best way to grow.
A Wrap up of my Tips for Networking:
It’s ok to start comfortable - just don’t stay there. Reach out to former colleagues and supervisors, reconnect in broad, enjoyable conversations.
People ARE generous. They want to help you, so give them the chance.
Start tracking your contacts from day one. Sort them into categories: who to keep in touch with often and who to check in with quarterly.
Stop thinking you need to get business immediately. Playing the long game is hard, but it pays off.
Never go to a networking event without 2-3 people in mind to meet. If you’re not sure who to meet, ask the event organizer or the person who invited you.
Bring a hype person. Have a friend who knows your business and you know theirs. (mine are Sarah Broder, Esq., LL.M. (Taxation) and Nina Smith and we keep each other busy!)
People are just people. Listen first. Connect on a human level before thinking about business.
Never leave a connection without an ask. You’re having fun, but you’re also building a business.
Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. It gets better, I promise. The more I pushed myself, the more natural networking became.
